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I’m a Martian American

By on June 25, 2013 in Atheism & Skepticism, Everything Else, Introvert vs Extrovert, Liberty & Freedom, Ruminations

 

Last week, I changed my Facebook timeline picture to this:

Mars_HighResolution_NASA

And added the following comment:

“This is Mars. Sometimes I feel like I was born there. Or that some people would like me to move there.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about that photograph since then… While I obviously don’t think I actually came from Mars, I have been aware for much of my life that I think a little differently than most people I know. I’m not suggesting this means I’m anything special. I don’t think I’m particularly smart. I have mediocre creativity. Am not an expert or close to it at anything.  But I do tend to think about things, at least it would seem, differently than most people I know.

Mostly, this has been somewhat of a curse.

One way in which this has become more apparent to me is during my relatively recent discovery that I’m a Classical Liberal (aka a Libertarian).  I’ve never identified fully with Democrats or Republicans, or if I think back to my days as a Christian, I never completely identified as a Lutheran, or whatever.  There were elements of those ideologies I agreed with and elements I disagreed with, but none of them completely represented my worldview in a way that felt “me.” I just tried to determine what ideas made the most sense to me, and rolled with it.  This spilled over into adulthood as I have tried to navigate the world of workplace norms and cultures (P.S. its a lot like high school), where I found myself not conforming as much as I probably should have to make life smoother sailing.  Combine a weird way of thinking with a strong sense of personal integrity and life can be a bit explosive and heart-wrenching.

A friend back home.

I remember a college class I took within my major field which was Sociology/Criminology. The professor talked about his views on drug legalization. He seemed to be saying he thought taking drugs was unwise, but that people should be free to do it, and that if they hurt others, they should pay the consequences heavily for it, but otherwise, should be left alone. I’ve come to understand this as a variation of a Libertarian viewpoint. Before he explained this theory, I would not have agreed with it, but after he gave a coherent and convincing argument, I began to see it his way, and have largely come to adopt his position as my own on that particular topic, especially as personal liberty has become one of my highest priorities in my world view. But at the time, I assumed his position must be a liberal position, since, you know… most academics are liberals, and of course he was advocating for drug use in some round about way.  No conservative would be on board with that!  But I would come to learn that this way of thinking (pro-drug legalization for complex reasons) was strongly ridiculed by both ends of the political spectrum, which surprised me. To me, after pondering the reasoning, rooted in a pro-choice-esque ownership of one’s body, and learning more about the horrific consequences of drug prohibition, it just made sense. It would be years before I heard the term “libertarian.”

[easyazon-image align=”right” asin=”B001B5VPXY” locale=”us” height=”160″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41EyXD%2B7%2BfL._SL160_.jpg” width=”113″]I’ve always managed (unwittingly) to adopt viewpoints from one of the least popular angles. I assure you, I don’t go out of my way to do so.  Ok, that’s partially true if I think about it more.  I do go out of my way to consider the unconventional position, but I don’t go out of my way to actually buy into it.  I think it is partially that obtuseness to labels that brings me to those ideas in the first place. Even now, as I’ve embraced the idea of being a “libertarian,” (though I think Classical Liberal sounds cooler, smarter, and less stocking up for the Zombie Apocalypse evoking) and freely call myself one, I am hesitant to adopt the label completely. I worry it will fence in my thinking, and subconsciously lead me to believe things because I think I should in order to fit in. Libertarianism is the easiest way to explain many of my general political positions, but it in no way fully encompasses who I am or what I believe in. And who knows, in the future, the word may not explain anything about me, much in the way that Christianity no longer does, except to explain my past, and the path to who I am now.

Anyway, this blog post is not meant to be about any specific ideas I do or do not believe in.  Its about being a Martian living on the Earth.  The paradox for me is while I tend to think about things in an uncommon way (at least uncommon in my real life circles), I don’t necessarily like being such a misfit, yet I cannot force myself (nor would I want to either) to believe what I don’t believe.  Learning that I no longer believe in god has been painful. It would have been much simpler had I remained a believer the rest of my life. True, there are apostates and non-believers who have it much worse than I do. Much, much, much worse (like I rarely worry about being stoned to death for my apostasy, and usually never worry about going to jail for it since I don’t live in Kentucky or in Indonesia), but as someone who longs to fit in, but who never has, this has not been an easy row. It amuses me when occasionally someone will speak of my “chosen belief system” or say to me “you lost faith” or thinks I am willfully trying not to believe in god. What led me to unbelief was starting out as a Christian, and wanting to learn more about my faith so that I could be a good apologist and advocate for the faith. I dreamed of being the biblical archaeologist who finally proved everything in the bible was true. That fervent faith and dream is what led me to agnostic atheism, which in turn adds to the way in which I see the world differently from my peers, which adds to the way in which I am a Martian.

BTW, isn’t this little rover just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?  If you’re not already, you should follow its Twitter feed @MarsCuriosity.

File:PIA16239 High-Resolution Self-Portrait by Curiosity Rover Arm Camera.jpg

As an introvert, who loves discussion and debate the way a pothead loves snack food, I can only say, thank goodness for the internet and the power of numbers! While not perfect, the internet – this blog, social media, other forums – has allowed me to connect with other freaks in the world and share battle cries.  I would love if more readers found and interacted on this blog, and maybe one day that will happen.  If you remember back to my blog on introversion, you’ll remember introverts aren’t antisocial, just differently social.  Contrary to popular belief, introverts aren’t all, or mostly, socially inept.  And many of us even like people.

The ridiculously sexy Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation, after he read the phone book to me and I died of happiness.

Though, I’ll admit to being more on the socially shy side of introversion than many others, I hate chit-chat, small-talk, fluff, so those early stages of making new friends can be challenging for me.  Yet, I would LOVE to find more people in “real life” who share my love of deep discussion, and willingness to ponder and explore topics from unpopular vantage points.   As much as I love writing, and think I’m best when I can sort out my thoughts on a page, there is nothing like sitting at a place with amazing atmosphere, with great food, with a great friend, talking for hours about anything and everything, from who is the best Star Trek Captain (Picard, duh!)  to why we exist in the cosmos. I cherish those moments with friends, and would love to have even more of them, as I feel like they are few and far between these days as life becomes more complicated.

I only hope I don’t have to move to Mars to have more of them.

Cheers,

PersephoneK

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Pioneering Best Buy Abandons ROWE; Catapults Workforce Back to Dark Ages

By on March 5, 2013 in Introvert vs Extrovert, Workplace Reform & Job Burnout

MedievilKing_iStock_000004614715_Small (2)Once again I’m baffled by yet another Fortune 500 CEO’s decision to end their company’s workplace flexibility program. Last week I discussed the horrendous decision by Yahoo!’s Marissa Mayer, and this week it’s even worse: Best Buy, the original sponsor (I don’t want to give them credit for creating it… Cali Ressler and Jody Thompson did that) of the Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE) that I am extremely passionate about, has decided to reverse course back to the Industrial Age and treat its employees like minions who can’t be trusted to do their jobs.  To the rack, you silly peasants!

According to an article today in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, Best Buy’s CEO Hubert Joly told his employees “You need to feel disposable as opposed to indispensable.”  Read an Update on this quote

Wow… just, wow. I’m not surprised he thinks this, but I am naively surprised he’d admit this publicly. Way to garner loyalty. Way to make your team feel like they are valued and not merely widgets being moved around to suit your whims. Way to show you’re a company moving towards Enlightenment instead of desperately back to the Dark Ages. I have news for you, sir, your decision to end ROWE makes it abundantly clear that you do not care at all about your employees OR your company’s success. A company is nothing without great ideas, great products or services, and great people. The first two can never emerge or be sustained without the last one. But in Joly’s own words, Best Buy proves its people are the lowest concern on its list of priorities.  A company that treats its heart and soul this way is one I will reconsider doing business with.

This latest (hopefully short) trend by big businesses to focus on employees being physically in the workplace instead of focusing on outcomes (aka actual work) consistently blows my mind. I’m trying to understand the root of the problem, which seems to be born of the “this is the way we did it when I was growing up” mentality combined with not really knowing why their businesses are in trouble. I also hypothesize there is the combination of a tendency for upper managers to be control freaks who don’t trust that the people who work for them are capable adults (er… why did you hire them???), and our society’s premium on the extroverted personality.

How the modern workworld struggles with treating employees like adults has been adeptly handled elsewhere, but I’d like to explore the extravert/introvert angle here a little further. Extroversion can be tied into these latest disturbing kneejerk reactions by reviewing some of the comments these CEO’s have been making ala “all hands on deck” and this gem from Best Buy spokesman Matt Furman, “It makes sense to consider not just what the results are but how the work gets done.”  Why is that exactly? If you are gaining results, why does it matter how the work gets done? Sounds like a chicken and egg problem.  Last November Joly apparently told the Star-Tribune that he wanted to restore accountability.  How does he plan to do so without focusing solely on results,  and instead watching the clock?  It’s clear these corporate leaders view physical collaboration as the only way to generate new ideas, and spark creativity, but they’re not entirely certain what results they are trying to achieve. Big problem. While I certainly do not want to dismiss the power that watercooler talk can have in sparking a wildfire of innovation, I think assuming that is the only way to do so fails to see the other ways a fire can be lit, and dismisses how about 50% of the population prefers to think. Often the best ideas are born from independent (introverted), quiet thinkers who obsess over solving a problem in solitude. I submit Steve Wozniak and Albert Einstein as two (out of a myriad of) such geniuses. They didn’t come up with their ideas in a vacuum, but expanded upon ideas brought forth by others before them. However, their real epiphanies came to them when they were allowed (to paraphrase Einstein) to daydream alone, Einstein from his Swiss patent office, gazing at the stars, and Wozniak before and after his day job from his office cubicle in total privacy. I would argue many of the most amazing ideas in the history of mankind have come to fruition in just this way.

I have no idea if Joly or Mayer are extroverts or introverts. It doesn’t matter, as many introverts can learn to behave like extroverts in order to assimilate into social and workplace norms. They myth of the antisocial introvert is insidious. But as an introvert myself, the premium on face to face collaboration at the office is obviously an extroverted value. In a previous blog I discussed introversion vs. extroversion. As I noted, one thing that distinguishes an introvert from an extrovert, is brain chemistry. This difference results in the generalization that extroverts think as they speak, whereas introverts think first, then speak. By forcing introverts to always collaborate like an extrovert (brainstorming session anyone?!?), you’re limiting their ability to bring their best ideas to the table. You’re effectively telling half the population (yes half) that because they are wired differently, they’re not welcome in your company.

The beauty of ROWE is that it allows a way for very different personalities and ways of thinking to come together in the ways that work best for them because the only thing they focus on is achieving results expected of them. ROWE allows for each situation to be tailored to specific needs, rather than relying on an obtuse top down mandate to serve every purpose well.

And sadly, for companies that abandon, or never move to a ROWE, they might as well be telling their customers and shareholders that they care more about office politics, than about getting things done well. I have yet to hear any argument that adequately shows that focusing on time and attendance instead of solely on results is a better way to solve the massive problems these companies are having. In a ROWE, people keep their jobs when they achieve results, as defined by managers in collaboration with employees based on the overall goals and objectives of the company as a whole. As long as those objectives are correct, and as long as the employee is achieving results, it doesn’t matter how or where the work happens. It seems to me, the Yahoo!s and the Best Buy’s of the world have yet to identify exactly what the root of their troubles are, and instead they have embarked on a witch hunt, ready to burn at the stake anything they don’t understand. You can serve the master or results or the master of presenteeism, but you can’t serve them both.  Why is it that we give more freedom to our college students to achieve results than we do to productive, responsible adults?

ROWE is not a work from home program. It is an all-that-matters-is-doing-your-job program. Joly clearly doesn’t get that. He’d rather dictate how work should happen based on his own personal preferences and temperament. He’d rather throw Best Buy – the first incubator of the most revolutionary workplace reformation ever — back into the dark ages when internal company politics ruled all behaviors, instead of focusing entirely on customer satisfaction and measurable achievement. He’d rather bow to the pressure of public perception and a Wall Street who doesn’t understand the work world has moved ahead of their outdated methods. He’d rather take comfort in knowing that he is the boss and what he says goes. He’d rather arrogantly continue to believe his ideas are better than the collective ideas of his massive workforce who know better than he does how to do their individual jobs.

He’d rather treat people as disposable, instead of recognizing his highest performers are indispensable.

Good luck with that.

 

Cheers,

PersephoneK

Update: According to a 03/18/2013 Op Ed piece written by Joly in the Star Tribune, his comments were misconstrued.  I have decided to leave my post as it was originally posted, because I believe the overall result of the removal of ROWE has not changed at all by his comments.  In fact, I believe they’ve been re-enforced by his clear lack of understanding of what ROWE is.

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The Antisocial Myth

By on January 25, 2012 in Introvert vs Extrovert, Recommended Reading

[This post was originally published on my old blog site, underworldgoddess.com.  I hope you find it well here.  The published date here reflects the original publication date].

In an interesting article I read today at ScientificAmerican.com, Susan Cain, promoting her new book “The Power of Introverts: A Manifesto for Quiet Brilliance”, responds to questions about introversion.  I’m looking forward to reading the book itself, since as in an introvert, I’ve always found the topic compelling, especially in the past couple of years.  I’ve read several books about the difference between introverts and extroverts, but it wasn’t until reading “Introvert Power” by Dr. Laurie Helgoe last year that I finally embraced introversion as a significant part of who I am, and even understood that it can actually be a strength.

As discussed in both the Q&A with Cain, and in Helgoe’s book, introversion is a personality trait, but it is not the same thing as shyness – a common misconception.  One can be both introverted and shy, or extroverted and shy, or introverted and not shy.  Cain touches on it in the article, but Helgoe goes into detail on how the brain chemistry is actually different in introverts and extroverts.  Introverts are naturally more stimulated and therefore tend to prefer solitude to recharge; whereas extroverts are naturally under stimulated and so to make up the difference, they tend to like lots of social interactions, busy settings.  Introverts think before they speak; extroverts think as they speak.

This was a Eureka! moment for me.  Learning that my brain chemistry is actually different than my hyper extroverted friend made so much sense.  I wasn’t defective.  I was exactly who I was supposed to be.

The misconception is that introverts are antisocial.  For years, I used this stereotype as a shield of self-deprecation.  I would openly say “I’m antisocial” to people when the last thing I wanted to do was go out for happy hour after work.  I started to buy into it myself. But it’s not true.  I love people.  One of my favorite things to do in the world is sit with a couple of close friends for hours and talk about life, debate religion or politics, dish about a favorite book or TV show – the good stuff.

I’ve always hated small talk at parties. I find it mind numbingly boring.  Who cares about the weather when you can talk about the things that actually enrich our lives?  It doesn’t always have to be serious subject matter.  I could have a pretty intense conversation about zombies or Smurfs, but that’s no chit chat.  Those conversations involve creativity and problem-solving.  Juicy “what-if” scenarios.  I love talking about that stuff with people I care about.  I just don’t like doing it 100% of the time.  I need time to think about what my friends tell me on my own.  I need a chance to ponder the meaning of life in peaceful bliss – at home, a cozy coffee shop, by the lake on a beautiful summer day.  I like to soak in my surroundings.  Absorb.  Regenerate my thoughts so I can devote attention to another friend on another day.

After reading Helgoe’s book, I realized calling myself anti-social was a disservice to myself.  I misled my extroverted friends, and made it harder for my introverted friends to be themselves.  After that revelation, I vowed to stop.  I began being more open about what I actually wanted to do, and why.

“Are you coming to happy hour tonight?”

“No thank you.  I feel like throwing on my jammies, opening the book I’m halfway through, and snuggling with my cat.”

Occasionally, this honesty causes a few off guard dazed blinks.  I just say “have fun” and be on my way.  It’s so much easier than making up some socially acceptable excuse.  People don’t believe them anyway, and I feel disgusting having used a line.

There are still times when I have to appear more extroverted than I would prefer too.  As Cain points out, we live in an extroverted culture (at least if you live in the US).  There are even times when I embrace a little extroversion and feel perfectly happy in doing so.  But more often than not, I’d rather stay home and get lost in a solitary endeavor, like writing, reading, playing guitar, video games, or taking a long walk in the park.  I refuse to let people make me feel guilty for wanting this time to myself.  If you’re one of the 50% of the total population that is introverted, I hope you’ll make an effort to do the same.  If you’re one of the other 50%, I promise to come to your parties as much as I can cope with it as long as you respect that I’m making the effort because I care about you.  And I expect a quiet cup of hot chocolate and a long conversation in return.

Deal?

-PersephoneK

 

 

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